Friday, September 4, 2009

Fine! I Give Up

Well, people, let me just say that I'm done. Yup, I've finally had it; my last straw has been officially pulled. I don't know what kind of evil hair my youngest child has with destroying my carpet, but it's there. You wouldn't guess it from looking at that princess loving, pretend tea party hosting, dolly toting, super cute and ultra angelic looking child, but I swear she plots new dastardly ways to ruin my carpet (and my mental state) before she gets out of her crib every morning. Her maniacal obsession started about four months ago- since then, she has dumped dish soap on the carpet (yes, the whole bottle), bubbles on the carpet (YES, the whole bottle), Pepto Bismol on the carpet (YES, the WHOLE bottle), and Elmer's glue on the carpet (YES, THE WHOLE BOTTLE!!), shall I keep going? Okay, I will. She's colored my carpet with markers, painted it with yogurt, smushed play-doh into it, and she likes to dump out bags of things like gold fish and cereal, CRUSH, GRIND, and SMASH them into tiny crumbs, then dance their remains into the carpet!! Are you getting a nice visual here? My personal favorite was the time she glue-sticked her little block books to her bedroom carpet. Can you just see me walking into her bedroom to pick up those books that were all over the floor, just to discover that they WOULDN'T PICK UP?! I won't even mention the DAILY routine of mopping up the water and chocolate milk she dumps ONLY on the carpet, or the time I took off her pull-ups and told her to go sit on the potty. She gave me her evil look, and I knew. She bolted for the living room with me chasing her, but I couldn't get to her in time before she squatted and peed right on a perfect piece of freshly vacuumed carpet. Well, last night was it. She finally broke me. I was frantically trying to help the kids with last-minute homework and get them fed before bedtime when I realized it was too quiet. You know that kind of too quiet where you get a sick feeling deep down in the pit of your stomach and the Twilight Zone theme song plays on repeat in your mind? Well, it was that kind of too quiet. I sent my older kids to find out what she was up too, only to hear #%@*$^!!! (That isn't a swear word, it's my youngest child's name being yelled out at the top of a person's lungs- I just disguised it to protect her identity from all the blatant slandering I'm doing of her good name here). So anyways, I run downstairs to see- yet not wanting to see- what the problem was. I came upon a scene of my oldest daughter trying to wipe the horrifying evidence off the feet of my youngest daughter. Hot pinkish red nail polish was all over her! But not only was it all over her, you guessed it- the rest of the bottle was dumped ALL OVER THE CARPET!!! Oh, no- there goes the last shred of my already too fragile sanity. Well, there was nothing to do but try to clean it up. I couldn't even cry this time- I was just too numb from it all. I had the pretty little heathen confined to her crib, then got to work. After an hour of working at it, I still couldn't get the spots all out, and my house STILL smells like paint thinner! All I could think was "why couldn't she make the mess in the bathroom on the tile or rug, that would be the preferred spot for a NORMAL person... WHY the CARPET?!" That's really all the evidence anyone needs to deduce what I myself have already concluded- she's out to get my carpet. I'm scared to think of what's next (like glue and paint aren't bad enough)? I wish she would remember all this when she was older so I could ask her my one burning question- WHY?!?!

P.S. For those of you thinking "Why doesn't she watch that child better, or keep that stuff up where she can't reach it?" I do. And if you still don't believe me, I'll let you tend her for a day. That kid can climb up and get to anything! She plots and waits for perfect opportunities when I get busy for just a minute, and that's all she needs to wreak havoc and destruction. I can't even restrain her- she's like a miniature Houdini and can get out of any restraint system (except I haven't been brave enough yet to try the duct tape). And it's not just carpet- I'm beginning to think she has it in for my walls, too...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I'm Ba-ack!

It's been awhile, so I figured I needed to update. A lot has gone on this past summer, so I'll have to try to summarize. First off, I'm typing this awesome new post on my awesome new laptop that my awesome old husband gave me this past Mother's day. It was really AWESOME of him! I'd been wanting one for a couple of years, and it came just in the nick of time as my awesome (not) home computer got another awesome (NOT!) virus. Anyways, back to business.

In June, the whole Evans clan headed off for a long weekend at Lake Powell. Wipe the jealousy off your faces, folks, cuz' the weather was crappy most of the time we were there. We froze our butts off in the wind, chilled to our cold, wet bones. We did get about half of one day with a little sun and not much wind, and we made the best of it and had a great time anyways with the family.

June was also Maycie's second birthday. I can't believe my baby is growing up so fast! We celebrated it at the Reservoir again this year- it was great, and all the kids had fun playing in the water. I made Maycie a giant cupcake for her cake, and she loved it. She is obsessed with cupcakes, so she especially loved the play cupcake set that she got from her Aunt Kim, as well as the darling tea table that she got from her Grandma Tina and Mom.

Our family got at watch a lot of ballgames during the month of June, with both Wyatt playing baseball, and me playing softball. Wyatt is a great little baseball player, and I'm not just saying that because I'm his Mom- he really is. He hits well, and he can catch just about anything that comes his way. I won't go so far as to say that he gets it from his Mom, though I really didn't do too badly at my own games.

The Evans clan headed off to Island Park for our annual trip at the end of June. The weather was pretty nice, and we had a great time- as we do every year. We spent a day driving through Yellowstone, and I practically walked right up to a buffalo along side the road for a picture. He was very polite and posed very well, don't ya think? Old Faithful was still there waiting for our yearly visit, and it erupted with joy to see us- right on schedule. The kids had a lot of fun playing games with their cousins, and everyone had a great time riding 4-wheelers, walking around the island, and competing in the family Olympics. We were sad to leave at the end of the week, and already can't wait until next year.

Next on the list would be the Forth of July and Wyatt's birthday (which is actually on the Fifth). We spent the day in Layton with my Silotti family, and started it out with a big family breakfast. We then all headed out to watch the parade in Kaysville, where the kids all got lots of treats, prizes, and stuffed animals. The guys even got ties, though a some of them were pretty ugly. Luckily, Zane's isn't too bad, because he thinks it's great and wears it with pride. Later that afternoon, we had a big family BBQ and celebrated Wyatt's birthday. I can't believe he's eight now! Grandpa Silotti made sure to give him eight birthday spanks (and one to grow on) to teach him a lesson for growing up so fast! I bought him cupcakes with Sponge Bob rings on them, and the checkout lady asked why I would want cupcakes with pieces of cheese on them. We ended the day with sparkler fun and a great fireworks display, which has always been my favorite part of the Forth.

I'll make mention of the 24th of July as well, since we always look forward to that, too. My kids love to go to the rodeo and carnival, though thankfully we managed to skip the latter this year. Too many horror stories of people getting sick and throwing up on the rides the new carnies brought this year... We also never miss the parade, though my kids thought the candy throwing was a little lacking this time. We had a BBQ with family and friends in the evening, and the kids had lots of water fun with a dunk tank and bounce splash. At the end of the festivities, we watch the fireworks off our back deck, and I must say we have the best seats in the house!

August 1st was a special day, as Wyatt was able to be baptized and confirmed by his Dad. We had a nice baptism program for him where both his Grandmas spoke and the kids sang a song. He wasn't even scared to get dunked, though with Zane doing the dunking, I would've been! Afterwards, we had everyone over for lunch to celebrate with him. We're very proud of Wyatt and love him very much.

If you're tired of reading this, too bad, cuz' I'm not done yet. August always brings around another family reunion, so we headed out to Bear Lake for a long weekend of camping *#^%@! fun. Yes, that was a swear word. In the best circumstances, I don't really like to camp. But this year was extra awesome, as the weather was rainy and cold, so I got to deal with a leaky tent on top of it all. And sadly, we only go to go out on the boat for a couple of hours because it was too windy. The weekend did have it's bright spots, though. My aunt made all the kids marshmallow shooting guns which they utilized the ENTIRE time, and we all love the paper dig and evenings around the campfire. We also got treated to an authentic Polynesian Luau, as my cousin, the new Governor Gary Herbert's bodyguards are Polynesian, and they put on quite a dinner and show for everyone. Though I liked the pig, I must say I hope all those Polynesian Islands get McDonalds' before I go to visit! We ended the trip with our customary devotional on Sunday, and the weather cleared up nicely for that. Though we spent most of the time cold and/or wet, I still wouldn't miss going and visiting with my family that I don't get to see very much.

Alivia had quite a lot of fun this summer teaching dance classes with a few of her friends to all the little girls in the neighborhood. They were quite professional, and had the girls divided up into two different age groups. Classes were faithfully held each week, and they even helped the little girls make costumes and held a dress rehearsal to prepare for an end of summer performance. The recital was held on the church cultural hall stage, and boasted quite a nice turnout. Most of the neighborhood was in attendance to watch their daughters perform, and perform they did- it was quite entertaining! Teachers Alivia, Taylor, Bailey, and Camryn stood at the back to help coach the girls through their several dances, and they even performed a dance of their own. I must say their recital rivaled those of the best dance studios around- why pay out your rear for formal dance classes when you can get such quality instruction for FREE? The girls did a great job teaching, and all the little girls performed wonderfully and had such a good time. I'm sure all the moms in the neighborhood join me in thanking them for the best, no-charge summer activity ever!!

That brings me to the here and now. Today is the first day of school, and I'm a little sad that the summer has come and gone so quickly. Let me rephrase- I'll miss the warmth of summer, but let me hear a Whoop Whoop that the kids are now in school! Holy crap, it's quiet in here!! There's no FIGHTING!!! Just a minute while I let the tears of joy wash over me... okay, I'm good now. Anyways, they sure looked cute as I kicked their butts out the door! See ya in six blissful hours!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Holy Crap, I'm Behind!

Yeah, the title says it all. Where does the time go? I'm really not one of those super busy people that never have time to update their blog, I just think that my time management skills are only about a B-. Okay, okay- maybe a C+...whatever. Anyways, I'll try to unload my mind of some of the many happenings we've had over the past couple of months so that someday my posterity can look back on what my life was like (hah, like they'd really want to).

The only really exciting thing in April was Easter. We went to the city Easter egg hunt on Saturday, the day before Easter, and the kids scrambled in the rain to grab a few plastic eggs filled with candy and coupons for tire rotations. Maycie, however, managed to luck out and scored an egg with a coupon for a little girl's Barbie trike, which if you've read my previous post on her obsession with Barbie Princesses, you'll understand just how excited she was. We also had our traditional Evans family egg hunt down on the farm, where the kids find eggs that are well hidden and loaded with candy and money. This year, my kids pocketed about $10-$20 apiece. On Sunday the kids found baskets left by that magical rabbit we call the Easter bunny, and we all attended church in matching Spring outfits. Then we had our traditional boiled egg roll, where we race colored eggs in twos down a ramp that my Dad built. The eggs slam into each other, and one cracks and one doesn't. We repeat this process till one champion egg remains. The winning egg holder gets the pride of knowing that they lucked out and chose the sturdiest egg that year (though a little cheating is not uncommon). Afterwards, we all throw the broken boiled eggs out into the church parking lot. No worries about littering people, because within a few minutes the seagulls are swarming and every piece of egg and shell is gobbled up. Kind of like the treats in my kids' Easter baskets. I'd have to say that Easter is one of my family's favorite holidays.

May is always the month of Alivia stuff. It's the month of the annual Utah State Jr. Livestock Show, where Alivia showed the pig she had been raising on our farm. Though she did a great job, her pig didn't win- I guess it's fat just wasn't up to par. Of course, only a few lucky pigs out of hundreds actually win the coveted prize of being the most choice pork on the market, so her pig didn't feel too bad. It actually did get a nice ribbon and sold for over $400 at the auction. Not too shabby for a home grown hog! Next up was the Freedom Festival Hope of America program that the school participates in, which is actually pretty cool. Hundreds of kids from a lot of different schools sing together and they wear colored shirts which form the American flag. It's quite an inspiring patriotic sight. The next week, Alivia competed in the school district's Hershey track meet, and she ran the 200m, the 400m, a relay, and also competed in the long jump. She did a great job and had a lot of fun (mostly because the kids all get to miss school that day). Alivia's birthday- number 11 this year- was the same day as the track meet. We had a family party that night, and she scored an awesome new mountain bike. She also got money, clothes, a cute blanket and scentsy burner for her room, and more. That weekend Alivia got to have a swimming party with her friends, though the girls liked the hamburgers, frosties, and fries from Wendy's better than the actual swimming. Who doesn't? Last but not least, Alivia got a kitten for her birthday, though she has to share him with the whole family. We named him Charlie, and the kids love playing with him... or at least they did for the first week or so. Now his new kitty charm has worn off, and they grumble over having to clean the litter box. At least Charlie will have a friend for life with little Maycie, though he'd probably prefer not. After one too many loving choke holds, he runs and hides when he sees her coming. If he can't escape in time, he'll end up being stuffed in the seat of Maycie's trike while she takes him for a ride, or she'll use him as a pillow while she watches Dora or Sponge Bob. Poor kitty.

One last mention for May- Jack graduated from preschool, and his class put on a program to showcase some of what they learned this year. After hearing the monkey song, the elephant song, and the birdie-chicken song, as well as the colors, numbers, letters, and patriotic songs, all I can say is I'm super proud of Jack. That's a load to remember for a little kid! I still can't quite figure out those impossible moves from that birdie-chicken dance. What skills the kids learned! I'm sure my little Einstein will be at the top of his Kindergarten class when school starts- maybe he could even skip right to the first grade!

June has already been overloaded with blog-worthy stuff and we're only half way through the month. But since I haven't uploaded those pics yet, you'll have to check back later for the details. I'll leave you with a little teaser, though. How does a birth, a birthday, a funeral, baseball, and 10 foot high waves crashing over a little boat in 30 mile an hour winds sound? Stay tuned!